By Daniella GrayShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberParents are often wary of their kids’ screen time but overlook how consistent phone use can influence their development.
Phubbing—a blend of “phone” and “snubbing”—essentially means ignoring someone in favor of a device.
“Children watch their parents closely, and when a caregiver is frequently distracted by a screen, it can have a ripple effect on how kids grow socially, emotionally and cognitively,” Jake Bergstedt, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek.
From responding to work emails to scrolling through social media, younger generations are at significant risk of being ignored by distracted parents on their phones.
Experts have outlined the hidden cost of digital distraction—and what parents can do about it.
...The “Silent Signal” Kids Receive When You Look Away
Children develop a sense of connection from simple moments throughout daily life—making eye contact, playing together, or chatting while riding in the car.
Bergstedt, who is also the founder of Uff Da Mental Health in Minnesota, explained that when those moments are interrupted by a phone, children can start to feel overlooked.
“Over time, this can impact how they relate to others,” he said. “Some kids show more anxiety or sadness; others act out with irritation, whining or bigger emotional reactions. These behaviors are usually signals that they’re craving connection, not trying to be difficult.”
Modeling Connection—Or Disconnection
Back-and-forth communication is crucial for young children's language growth. When parents are distracted, they tend to talk and gesture less often, which may delay their child's language development.
“Cognitive skills like attention, problem-solving, and impulse control also grow through hands-on interaction and play,” Bergstedt. “When screen use replaces that, kids can struggle more in these areas.”
Micro-Moments That Build Bonds
Parents' phone use shapes children's relationship dynamics. When adults focus on devices during conversations, for example, children notice and learn that relationships can be disrupted or deprioritized.
Dr. Michael G. Wetter, PsyD, ABPP, FAACP, a clinical psychologist, told Newsweek that children learn that presence doesn’t require full attention.
“When this happens regularly, children can develop a heightened sensitivity to being overlooked and may enter relationships with a deep fear of not mattering,” he said. “For some, phubbing becomes the model they unconsciously adopt. They learn that it's acceptable to retreat into digital spaces during moments of stress, boredom or conflict. Others respond in the opposite direction and become vigilant about attention, needing constant reassurance that they have not been forgotten.”
The Long-Term Ripple Effect
Wetter said this pattern has long-term implications. Children raised in settings filled with digital distractions frequently bring these patterns into their friendships, romantic lives, work relationships and even how they parent in the future.
“They may struggle with sustained emotional presence, find it difficult to tolerate moments of boredom, or equate connection with the intensity of digital engagement rather than the steady pace of real conversation,” he explained. “They may also feel distressed when someone else appears distracted, because it evokes early experiences of feeling replaced or unimportant.”
For older kids and teenagers, high levels of screen use, especially social media, are linked to lower self-esteem and higher rates of anxiety and depression.
A 2025 study found that social media use in early adolescence was associated by age 17 with greater psychological distress. The researchers identified that social media use led to increased interpersonal distrust, later bedtimes and negative self-image by mid-adolescence, which, in turn, mediated higher anxiety and depression symptoms.
Wetter stressed that parents shouldn’t aim for perfection but awareness.
“Parents who notice these patterns and intentionally create moments of undivided presence can repair these small ruptures. Even brief periods of fully engaged attention have a powerful impact on a child’s emotional security,” he said.
Bergstedt agreed that small changes can make a big difference: “Creating device-free moments—during meals, bedtime routines, or car rides—helps kids feel seen and supported. Even a few intentional minutes of undistracted connection each day can balance out our busy, tech-filled lives.”
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