Jay McGregor
Published November 29, 2025 2:00pm
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I realised that many people face obstacles that prevent them from maintaining their loved ones’ graves, and I felt compelled to alleviate that burden (Picture: Morgan Prime)
It all began on a bright spring morning in 2020.
I found myself standing at my dad’s grave, two days after his funeral, holding a bundle of wilted flowers that needed to be taken away, a bucket of water and a cloth.
My eyes welled with tears – but, having grown up watching my father bring water to give our loved ones’ graves a quick rinse, I couldn’t bear to leave until his resting place looked well cared for and dignified.
After an hour of scrubbing the stone and pulling at stubborn weeds, my hands were numb, and my back felt worn out. But as the sun came out, I took a deep breath.
It struck me then that I had no idea how to return to work after all this.
All I wanted was a little more time with my dad – but I was working full-time in central London and I wouldn’t have the flexibility to visit my dad’s grave regularly during the week.
I had no idea, then, that I’d go on to start Graceful Graves: A professional grave cleaning and maintenance company.
My father’s unexpected passing during the first UK lockdown reshaped my world.
He passed away from multiple organ failure on just the second day of restrictions, and our goodbye felt so stark, shrouded in PPE – a far cry from the warmth I had wished for.
Caring for my dad’s grave gave me space to feel grounded and centred (Picture: Morgan Prime)
After the funeral, I found solace in the cemetery – it was one of the few spaces where I felt I could be close to my dad.
After that first time tending my father’s grave, I started going three times a week. I’d play music and it was peaceful. I could almost forget that we were in a national lockdown.
Caring for my dad’s grave gave me space to feel grounded and centred, and screen the endless calls of sympathy which I wasn’t quite ready to face.
Gradually, I began caring for my grandparents’ and cousins’ graves, too.
I started with water and a sponge, but quickly realised it would take more than that after a torrential downpour and plenty of animal mess – and I started to see the impacts of weathering and nature on the graves.
We now have a team of four working across the capital (Picture: Morgan Prime)
I began researching different stone types, watching cleaning videos, and looking at eco-friendly products I could safely use to maintain them.
One day in April 2020, a woman approached me. She asked if I worked for the cemetery and whether I could help clean her mother’s grave.
I had a slight chuckle to myself as I realised that she would be entirely correct to assume I worked there.
‘Oh no, I don’t actually work here,’ I replied. ‘I just have a lot of loved ones buried here close together, and want to make sure everyone is looked after.’
But her question planted a seed in my mind that would change my entire trajectory.
I started to remember all the different people visiting the cemetery. Those with kids who could only bear an hour or so before toilet breaks and impatience, those who could only visit monthly due to work, the elderly (who I often helped) who struggled to bend and clean.
I realised that many people face obstacles that prevent them from maintaining their loved ones’ graves – like work responsibilities, distance, age, or health issues – and I felt compelled to alleviate that burden.
Thus, Graceful Graves was born.
When I first told my loved ones what I wanted to do, their reactions varied from shocked surprise to deep admiration. My partner, for example, said, ‘Oh wow, that’s different; but if there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you.’
My mum has been my strongest supporter, always affirming how proud my dad would be.
I initially offered my services in South London, where I live. I created business cards and launched an Instagram page and booking website.
The first few days were a blur. It was extremely hard – I was still so fresh in my grief.
With more than one guardian angel up there I was strong in my faith that I would make this work, says Jay (Picture Morgan Prime)
I had so much motivation and drive, but it was painful that this all stemmed from such a profound loss that I was still coming to terms with.
But I knew I was in this for the long haul, and it wouldn’t be an overnight job.
With more than one guardian angel up there I was strong in my faith that I would make this work.
It wasn’t long before I began receiving messages from individuals seeking help, sharing their stories, or simply wanting to connect over their grief – and as the business began to grow, it became evident that I needed more help and support.
We now have a team of four working across the capital.
With every new inquiry, we request information about the loved one, the cemetery and plot number, and the type of care they are looking for.
Want to find out more?
Graceful Graves is dedicated to helping families cherish and care for their loved ones’ final resting places with one heartfelt, straightforward mission: To bring grace to grief. To learn more, visit: gracefulgraves.co.uk
Our Grave Guardians approach each grave with empathy.
When we arrive, we always greet the grave. We say hello, introduce ourselves with who we are, what we are up to, and who has hired us – and if we need to step across another plot, we do so with a quiet apology.
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We are not merely cleaning stones; we are nurturing legacies.
After every clean, we send an email with ‘before and after’ photos of the grave, so customers can see exactly what we have done. We often hear from customers on how these photos of their loved ones’ graves bring them a wave of peace – and that, to me, is what it’s all about.
Running Graceful Graves has profoundly changed my perspective on grief. It has instilled in me greater patience and compassion – I have learned how to give myself grace during the hardest of times and to have more compassion than ever – and has taught me the importance of open conversations about death.
Grief can be unpredictable, but one thing remains true: Love will always find a graceful way to endure. Let’s embrace it together.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
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