I suppressed my condition – then everything went wrong

I suppressed my condition – then everything went wrong Richard King Published November 23, 2025 10:00am Share this article via whatsappShare this article via xCopy the link to this article.Link is copiedShare this article via facebook Comment now Comments Stress and anxiety from work exaggerated my tics and my general health began to crumble (Picture: Getty Images)

It is August 2024, and my Tourette’s Syndrome (TS) – always worse in the claustrophobic heat of summer – has become unbearably intrusive, with perpetual tremors and tensions anchoring my mood. 

At the same time, mounting stress and anxiety – mainly from pressures at work – had led to a diagnosis of first high blood pressure, then depression and, finally, moderate to severe ADHD.

And my usual defence, a finely tuned but exhausting ‘masking’ – the physical suppression of tics – is failing me. My usual bullet-proof resilience is weakening under this strain.

I wasn’t diagnosed with TS until I was 32 years old – 22 years ago. From what I remember, seeking a diagnosis was influenced by a documentary about footballer Paul Gascoigne, although my memory is a little hazy on this. I spoke to my GP and was then referred to a specialist who made the diagnosis. 

I don’t have the ‘swearing’ kind (Corprolalia) that most people are familiar with; my Tourette’s produces other involuntary movements and sounds, tics, tensions, hums, and sighs. 

Tourette syndrome campaigner John Davidson has a vocal version of TS and was the inspiration for new film I Swear (Picture: Dave Benett/WireImage)

Beyond a little bullying at school, and the odd comment since, I’d largely kept my condition under wraps. So much so, that on the very rare occasions I’ve told anyone I have Tourette’s, the most common response has been: ‘No you haven’t.’ 

Even after my diagnosis, and a brief period of sharing the news with close friends and family, I packed it all away again. I didn’t feel like I would gain anything from sharing my condition more widely.

And, having become adept at suppressing most of my tics, especially in social or work situations, I felt strong enough to carry on alone.

I had to acknowledge this was a nose-dive I couldn’t prevent, says Richard (Picture: Richard King)

But that all changed in the summer of 2024. Stress and anxiety from work exaggerated my tics, which made suppressing them harder; and, as a result, my general health began to slump, then crumble.

Tension headaches that I used to get fortnightly now struck almost daily, and my blood pressure spiralled to levels that medication couldn’t bring down.

I didn’t want to go to work – or anywhere, really. 

What are tics and Tourette's syndrome?

Tics are sudden and involuntary body movements or sounds that people do repetitively.

Tics are the main symptom of Tourette's syndrome, a condition that can be diagnosed after an individual has experienced several tics for over a year.

The NHS outlines that different tics include:

• Finger clicking
• Blinking
• Nose wrinkling
• Head banging
• Coughing or sniffing
• Grunting
• Repeated sounds or phrases
• Touching other people or things

Tourette's syndrome usually begins in childhood. There is no cure for the condition.

While the NHS states that the majority of children with tics do not require treatment, treatment may be recommended to help control tics.

One day in mid-August 2024, while staring blankly at the desktop of my MacBook, my elbows on the desk, chin resting heavily on cupped palms, my right foot shaking uncontrollably, I had to acknowledge this was a nose-dive I couldn’t prevent.

So, after heart-to-hearts with family and colleagues, I made the difficult decision to step away from what my GP and specialist agreed was the single biggest contributing factor to my escalating symptoms: my football business.

Comment now Have you or a loved one ever struggled with Tourette’s? Have your say in the commentsComment Now

Of course, it couldn’t be as easy as that, and it hasn’t been. Ties, responsibilities, and conventions are difficult to break – but I managed to slowly release myself from commitments I could no longer keep.

It got worse before it got better, but it did get better. Having worked for myself since I was 28 – in publishing, then events, then cycling, then football – I am now embarking on a new way to make a living in writing, that better accommodates my conditions.

Need support for your mental health?

You can contact mental health charity Mind on 0300 123 3393 or text them on 86463.

Mind can also be reached by email at [email protected].

It was ironic to find myself in a cinema recently watching the terrific new biopic, I Swear, about Tourette syndrome campaigner John Davidson (played beautifully by Robert Aramayo). As for John, with his aggressive vocal version of TS, movie theatres – like the libraries he fantasises about visiting in the film – are almost certainly off-limits.

Avoiding cinemas has been a habit of mine too, but at 10.30am on a weekday morning at Everyman Reigate, I was the only one there for what was essentially a private viewing and had the luxury of blinking, scrunching, twitching, wriggling, squirming, sighing and, yes, laughing and crying, as much as I liked.

In I Swear, Tourette syndrome campaigner John Davidson is played by Robert Aramayo (Photo by Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images for STUDIOCANAL)

And it’s a wonderful, authentic film that uses humour and strong performances to present what is an often-misunderstood condition, in a way that will engage and educate anyone who sees it.  

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But the cruel truth is that Tourette Syndrome is incurable. The challenge – or opportunity – therefore is to change the environment those with Tourette syndrome or mental health problems live in. To convert attitudes and perceptions, through education and information. To transform the landscape. 

That is what John Davidson (MBE) has dedicated his life to, and what I Swear has done so seamlessly, and why we need to continue to see stigma busting TV and film.

Happily, my headaches have nearly gone altogether; the tics have eased. My blood pressure is on the way down. I’m assured that, even in my mid-50s, there is some therapeutic and medicinal help available. 

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So, I’m giving it a go – and feel cautiously positive about the future.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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