Alice Giddings
Published November 21, 2025 5:00am
Share this article via whatsappShare this article via xCopy the link to this article.Link is copiedShare this article via facebook
Comment now
Comments
This week’s diarist has a complicated relationship with her husband (Picture: Getty/ Myles Goode)
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Sarah*, 53, who is married and has sex twice a week.
She’s been with her husband Mark* for 30 years, and they have two daughters aged 14 and 16 — but that doesn’t stop them from getting frisky.
‘My sex life is loving, fulfilling and definitely reciprocal,’ Sarah, who owns a fashion business, says. ‘I find it really healthy and empowering.
‘Not only is my husband great at cooking and DIY, but luckily his practical talents extend to the bedroom, too. His oral technique is out of this world.’
But that doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing all the time, with Mark and Sarah often arguing — not to mention their unspoken crushes on other people.
So without further ado, here’s how Sarah got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
Monday
Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us!
It’s been a hectic day at work and sex is the last thing on my mind. My husband Mark and I never get frisky on Mondays because it’s such a busy start to the week.
Tonight, Mark’s on dinner duty and I’m heads-down on my laptop, bashing away to meet a work deadline, when my 14-year-old daughter calls me up to her bedroom. She sits me down and tells me: ‘Mum, I’m a bit traumatised, I found something in your sock drawer.’
Oh God, I know immediately she isn’t referring to a sock — she’s talking about my trusty vibrator, which I hid there, thinking no one would ever find it. Even worse, it’s a large (luxury, I may add) clitoral stimulator with the phrase ‘extra suction power’ written enticingly on the box.
So far, so embarrassing. No, mortifying.
Of course, self-pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of, but being interrogated about it by my teenage daughter feels very wrong. I’ll never be able to look at that darned vibrator in the same light again. What a turn-off.
‘Ah, I see,’ I venture, debating how on earth to respond. ‘Well, it’s not ideal that you found it. Shall we just pretend you didn’t and move on?’
She nods, her face red with embarrassment. No one wants to stumble across their mum’s vibrator. Thing is, if this wasn’t so weird, in some ways I’d quite like to tell each of my teenage daughters to invest in a good vibrator. I rarely orgasmed until I discovered the joys of a Lelo sonic clitoral massager in my early 30s.
It’s such a shame I wasted all those years not climaxing. I came spectacularly once at the age of 16, thanks to a highly skilled older lover, but after that I never felt comfortable enough with my boyfriends.
Mark was the first man to make me come every time we had sex – so I knew he was a keeper! And that vibrator is the best £100 my husband ever spent.
As we get into bed I tell Mark about our daughter’s discovery — I wasn’t expecting him to be fuming.
‘For f***’s sake, Sarah*, you left it in the bathroom cupboard last time too. Just be more careful, right?!’ he growls at me, referring to the time when our eldest daughter was horrified to find the same vibrator.
Too tired to argue, I switch my bedside light off, still cringing that now both of our daughters have made that particular discovery.
Tuesday
After another busy day of writing and a quick lunch time session down the gym, I meet someone new at a work event in the evening.
He’s a TV presenter telling an audience of over 100 all about his new show, including me, sat right in the front row.
As this tall, muscular surfer-dude, with a crop of messy blonde curls, strides onto the stage in baggy jeans and a tight white t-shirt, I can’t help but be distracted. Instead of listening to his speech – fascinating, I’m sure – I notice his bulging biceps and the way his erect nipples are clearly visible through his top.
What am I doing? After checking my cycle-tracking app on my phone, I suddenly twig it’s my friskiest (and favourite) time of the month. Hello, ovulation!
I always know when I’m ovulating as suddenly, I want sex most nights (much to Mark’s delight) and I’m drawn to all sorts of random men I’d never normally even notice. Sometimes I have to reel myself in.
Luckily, my partner is as big a flirt as me. Sometimes we jokingly admit to each other when we fancy other people. I’m far more jealous than him though – so when I began to suspect he liked this loud, bossy school mum (the opposite of me) we’d often see at the school gates, I found myself simmering away inside.
Mark and I have been together for most of our adult lives, so we accept that now and then we’re bound to be attracted to other people. As long as we don’t act on those feelings, there’s nothing to worry about.
By the time I get home tonight, I’m still buzzing, but as I stumble into our pitch-black bedroom, I discover my husband is already quietly snoring.
No action for me tonight then. I think about Surfer Man, smiling to myself, as I fall asleep.
Wednesday
I go to the gym after work today. It’s a faff to get there, but afterwards I always notice how much better I feel – happy, relaxed and even a little bit frisky.
Back home in the bedroom, I strip off my clothes, ready to jump in the shower. My husband is sat in bed tapping away on his laptop when suddenly he gives me ‘that look’.
Even though we’ve been married for 25 years, there’s still a big spark between us. Sometimes I think it’s the main thing keeping us together.
I’ve noticed we tend to get on better the day after we’ve had sex, but often I seem to annoy Mark. I’m not even sure what I’m doing wrong. I’ve aged better than him and he went ballistic at a party recently, when a man expressed amazement that we were a couple – as in, ‘how the hell did you get her?’ vibes. Mark was not amused, but of course I was secretly flattered.
We’re opposites in personality, we argue a lot, but put us in the bedroom and it’s total harmony. I also long for him to come home when he’s gone — he’s a calm and practical man — exactly what I need.
Forget the shower, suddenly we’re stealing 10 minutes for a quickie, while the girls are both upstairs in their bedrooms, occupied with homework (or TikTok).
We’re in our favourite position — missionary. It’s deep penetration, minimal effort, so I can lie back and enjoy it.
I remind myself to come silently — not always easy. Mark is a man of few words, but when I tell him I love him in the throes of passion, he replies in in his strong Leeds accent, ‘Yeah, Sarah, love you too…’
That’s as emotional as he gets, but despite all our domestic squabbles, I know he means it.
Thursday
Today has been back-to-back deadlines again, broken up by a coffee with a friend. I’ve got into a bad habit of going to bed at midnight, but at 9pm a WhatsApp message from Mark arrives, even though he’s sat in the study downstairs. It’s an aubergine emoji, so I immediately text back a ‘thumbs up’. Yes, a fun night lies ahead of us.
I know Mark slept with at least 30 women before me and frankly, I’m glad because he’s the best lover I’ve ever had. Practice makes perfect and after 30 years together, this man knows exactly what he’s doing when he goes down on me – he uses a rhythmic, circular flick of the tongue that gets faster and faster, harder and harder at just the right pressure…
He’s such a pro, he can make me climax within minutes. One of the joys of being with the same lover for so long.
It’s always him who initiates oral sex, but next time it’ll be his turn and I’ll do all the work. Tonight, I go on top to finish him off – seems only fair given all the effort he’s gone to.
Friday
My husband likes me in my Lycra gym gear. Though I’m 53, I’m still toned and work hard to keep my gym-body. I exercise three or four times a week and walk as much as possible.
We both work from home and after my 12pm class today, I’m just about to make a sandwich, when my husband suddenly appears in the kitchen, wrapped in a towel, with a giant hard-on.
‘Where the hell did that come from?’ I wonder, but hey, I’m not complaining. I follow him upstairs for a quickie. One of the perks of WFH.
He strips off my clothes at top speed, lingering for a moment to admire me in my black satin bra.
Mark and I are the same age, but whereas I look 10 years younger than 53, he looks a decade older. He’s still very attractive though, with a thick crop of jet-black hair, chocolate-brown eyes and enough swagger to make Liam Gallagher look shy.
Today we have hard, fast sex which is both passionate and satisfying, then we both get back to work. I notice on a Zoom call later, my eyeliner’s smudged and my hair still looks dishevelled. Oops.
When I was out with my best friend for dinner last week, she revealed she no longer fancies her husband and her libido is on the floor.
‘It’s the menopause,’ she groaned, ‘Honestly, Sarah, it kills your sex drive completely…’
I don’t think I’m menopausal yet, but friends have warned me what’s in store – apparently a dry vagina, zero libido and hot flushes are some of the many delights ahead. Can’t wait.
Saturday
After a day of sorting out the house, it’s movie night. The plan is we all watch a film together, while munching on a takeaway curry.
But the reality is every week, we end up bickering about what to watch. Then once we finally agree on a choice, cosy up on the sofa and put the film on, I immediately drop off to sleep.
It drives my husband crazy – not conducive to good sex, so Saturday is always a shag-free night. Shame really since it’s the only day of the week when we could have a lie-in afterwards.
Sunday
We have a leisurely start to the day in bed before spending a cosy day at home, and somehow the cleaning I did yesterday has already been undone.
Much as my husband annoys me, in the bedroom we enter a parallel universe where everything is rosy. As well as knowing my body (and mind) inside out, I love the fact he knows exactly what I don’t like in bed too.
We tried watching porn once on a female-friendly erotica site called FrolicMe.com. After scrolling through the menu for ages, which offered everything from ‘tender touch’ to ‘country life’ videos, we finally settled on one to watch from the ‘female masturbation’ section.
More Trending
-
This is the best time of day to have sex, according to your age
Channel: Sex Sex 1 day ago By Eleanor Noyce - My life with four stone O-Cup breasts that won’t stop growing
- I have to use a 'penetration buffer' with my boyfriend during sex
- Why won't anyone take my clothes off anymore?
Sounds hot, but the reality was quite different. While it does it for some people, I found the actress’ surgically enhanced breasts distracting. The camera zoomed in on her shaven bits, which seemed slick with oil, and I found her dreamy, doll-like expression unnerving.
‘Let’s turn it off,’ I muttered and my husband immediately obliged, adding, ‘I’ve got the real thing right here anyway…’
It was exactly the right reaction. I learned something new about myself that night too. That I never want another woman in the bedroom with us — either in real life or on film.
Deals of the Day
I’m a dating expert – these are officially the best dating apps & sites for 2025
I’m a relationships writer – these are officially the best gay and bisexual dating apps
Enjoy ‘guaranteed orgasms’ with this Lovehoney toy – now 40% off for Black Friday
Boots Black Friday deals are live – shop top offers on fragrance, gift sets and more!
Breakdown drama? There’s an app for that – and it gets you help in minutes
We finish the evening by watching a classic horror film, Psycho. Feeling freaked out by the famous shower scene, we fall asleep spooning to calm me down.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Arrow MORE: Justin Trudeau is ‘a much happier person’ since Katy Perry relationship
Arrow MORE: Trans people are sickened and scared by new government guidance
Arrow MORE: This billionaire’s ‘diabolical’ pick up line has gone viral for all the wrong reasons
Comment now Comments Add Metro as a Preferred Source on Google Add as preferred source The Hook UpMetro's hottest newsletter, with juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. 18+
DOB ? Email I agree to receive newsletters from Metro I agree to receive newsletters from Metro Sign UpSign UpThis site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Your information will be used in line with our Privacy Policy
