By Daniella GrayShareNewsweek is a Trust Project memberA stressed mom who moved her entire family from the U.S. to Italy didn’t anticipate how much it would reshape her as a parent.
Clara Hogan (@clarahogan) and her husband Brian, both 36, spent years feeling the weight of a lifestyle in the Bay Area that was “wonderful but also stressful, very fast-paced and financially draining,” Hogan told Newsweek.
The parents, who share 6-year-old Etta and 3-year-old Poppy, knew it was time for a change.
...When Brian was awarded a scholarship to an MBA program in Bologna, the couple sold their home and most of their possessions.
“Moving to Italy felt like a way to give our family an adventure, but also a chance to rethink what we wanted day-to-day life to feel like,” Hogan said.
In a carousel post on TikTok, the mom of two listed how the move has helped her to enjoy motherhood more, as well as the differences between European lifestyles versus modern America.
Hogan explained that she no longer feels the anxiety and trauma knowing her daughters are safe at school. The family also walks everywhere instead of wrestling with car seats or bracing for gridlocked traffic.
Italians, she said, treat children as an added joy rather than a nuisance. “Kids are adored and welcomed everywhere. They don’t expect you to hide them away or keep them quiet in public,” she wrote. If her children have a tough moment in a café or piazza, strangers step in to help or make them smile, not glare.
But the move was far from easy. Hogan shared how disorienting it was to start over in a country famous for being romanticized by foreigners.
“I think people romanticize the idea of moving abroad, especially to Italy—I definitely did—but the reality is that starting over in a new country takes an incredible amount of work and tenacity, especially with young kids in tow,” she said.
Bureaucracy, language barriers and the constant feeling of getting something wrong forced her so far outside her comfort zone that she had no choice but to grow. “It’s all exhausting but also incredibly rewarding,” she said. “Being so pushed out of my comfort zone forced me to grow in ways I didn’t expect and has brought us closer as a family.”
Etta and Poppy have taken the move in their stride. They’ve adapted to a new school system, made friends and—much faster than their parents—picked up Italian.
“They’re basically fluent in Italian now,” Hogan said. “I think the biggest shift, though, comes from the fact that my husband and I are less stressed and more present. That energy rubs off on them.”
One of the most unexpected reliefs came in the grocery store aisles. In the U.S., she often felt the pressure of decoding labels and ingredients, trying to protect her kids from invisible harms. In Italy, she trusts the quality and simplicity of the food system.
Asked which change has mattered most, Hogan points to two things. First: the removal of the chronic stressors that once formed the backdrop of daily life.
Second: permission for a slower pace of life. “Italy places such a high value on family, time together, slowing down, and not overpacking your schedule,” Hogan said. “It’s made me a calmer, more intentional parent.”
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