Alice Giddings
Published November 27, 2025 3:25pm
Updated November 27, 2025 3:26pm
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Love isn’t always simple (Picture: Tim Robberts)
Often, the end of a marriage isn’t due to one big blow-out, but rather, it slowly burns out — the connection gradually wanes until one partner realises they’re officially done.
It’s this path to relationship doom that has led to the concept of the ‘walkaway wife’.
Recent ONS research found that women are more likely to initiate legal separations in the UK, with wives instigating 63% of marriage breakups in 2023 – which one new report claims is because they’ve simply ‘had enough’.
The idea of your partner handing you divorce papers out of the blue is heartbreaking and terrifying in equal measure.
But if you manage to catch things slipping early on, there may still be time to turn things around — or if not, at least avoid being blindsided.
With that in mind, Metro turned to the experts to discover the tell-tell signs of a would-be ‘walkaway wife’, and offer some advice on how you might be able to keep your marriage together.
Quiet resignation
According to Roya Royle, BACP registered therapist, an emotional shutdown or ‘stonewalling’ is an obvious sign your partner is no longer ‘in’ it.
If your partner and your sex life shuts down, pay attention (Picture: Getty Images)
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‘If your wife is physically in the room but not really there with you,’ she tells Metro.
‘Conversations become shorter and more practical. Perhaps she comes across as guarded. There will probably be less laughter and fewer inside jokes.’
She says this is a classic emotional prelude to leaving, adding: ‘It’s your wife’s way of protecting herself from further disappointment, after being disappointed for a long time.’
BACP registered therapist Susie Masterson notes that this phase might initially appear peaceful, with you and your partner no longer arguing.
‘While not everyone has a confrontational relationship, when we stop confronting things in a marriage, it can often be a sign of caring less,’ she tells Metro.
Investing in a separate life
If your wife has suddenly become more independent, it may just be she’s taking more time for herself, but in some cases, it could spell bad news for your marriage.
‘Your wife may start to prioritise more time with friends, new hobbies and there could be a shakeup of old routines,’ Roya says. ‘Sometimes practical steps follow, separate bank accounts, decluttering, reorganising.’
Be cautious with how you interpret this though, as the therapist highlights that building a life outside marriage can be healthy, and it’s only a red flag ‘when it’s paired with withdrawal’.
An intimacy shift
Although there are a multitude of reasons your sex life could taper off, a lack of intimacy may be an indicator something is amiss.
If your wife becomes more independent, it might spell bad news for you (Picture: Getty Images/Maskot)
‘Physical closeness might change; be less frequent, less tender, or harder to initiate,’ Roya explains. ‘Affection may become inconsistent or feel more functional.’
Before you jump to conclusions however, the therapist warns it’s important to consider other factors like menopause, trauma, stress, exhaustion, mental health struggles, body image issues, or medication.
‘When this shift is accompanied by emotional distance, reduced communication, and not wanting to discuss the relationships future, it can mean there is a deeper disconnection which is not about sex itself, but about the marriage feeling hopeless,’ she adds.
Not imagining a shared future
When you tie the knot, it’s an exciting time of sharing your visions for a life together, whether that involves kids or travelling, building your dream home or retiring early together.
But if that fades, pay attention.
A refusal to ask for help means your wife may be avoiding confrontation (Picture: Getty Images)
Roya says: ‘Your plans once made together may now default to logistics only. Holidays and long-term projects are avoided. Discussions of the future become vague and non committal.
‘When someone stops picturing a future with you, it can signal that they’re emotionally stepping out of the relationship and imagining a life without it.’
Criticism is the norm
‘When criticism becomes the main tone, it’s usually a sign resentment has built up for a long time without repair,’ Roya says.
Yet according to Susie, it’s not always ‘overt’.
‘It’s often things like increased sighing, or tutting and muttering under your breath,’ she explains. ‘These subtle behaviours can be signs of suppressed anger.’
How can you improve your marriage?
All relationships go through a series of ruptures and repairs, says therapist Susie.
She explains: ‘If these ruptures just get swept under the carpet, then it’s probably time to focus on learning to repair – something you can do in couples therapy.
‘Even if it doesn’t keep us together, it is a brilliant skill to learn as it’s important for us to be able to model this for our kids.’
One important factor in this is learning to negotiate, using ‘I’ language to ‘own our feelings’, before stating the problem and proposing a solution.
For example, instead of, ‘You never help me, you’re a bad person,’ you’d reframe the conversation as, ‘I feel overwhelmed by the amount of life admin I take on, and I would appreciate it if you took on X, Y, Z tasks.’
‘Finally, learning to have boundaries in our relationships can be really helpful,’ Susie adds.
‘We all change, but not necessarily at the same time or pace. So it’s important for us to communicate what we need from each other and from other aspects of our lives.
‘The key thing to remember with boundaries is that it’s not up to other people to respect them, it’s for us to uphold them.’
She stops asking for help
When a wife starts mentally checking out, Roya says: ‘Requests for shared effort will fade away, and she handles everything alone or speaks as if it’s pointless to ask.’
‘You may hear: “I’ve told you this before” or “It won’t change”.’
The reason some men don’t spot this as a warning sign, it because they may ‘feel that their wife asking for change is a criticism’, but Roya highlights ‘it’s actually a sign that she still believes the marriage can heal’, as ‘when the requests stop, it’s usually because hope has run out.’
If you’re seeing all these signs, don’t be surprised if a divorce is on the horizon (Picture: Getty Images)
In a similar vein, Susie adds that your wife taking on more of the domestic load may not be the plus it seems; it could actually be a tool for avoidance.
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‘The emotional undertone of the marriage has changed from connection to self-protection,’ she explains.
Kids are used as weapons or rewards
Obviously, if you don’t have kids this won’t be of much use, but your wife ‘overly investing’ in the children may be something to watch out for if you do.
‘Subconsciously we start to use them as pawns to help us de-couple from our partner, while securing the bond between mother and child,’ Susie says.
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‘If you are starting to feel alienated from your kids, then it’s time to get curious.’
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